Ritual is as old as human life on earth. Our earliest ancestors conducted rites and ceremonies, making art in dark caves, constructing stone passages, circles and other structures to memorialize those no longer physically with us. Because we exist at many energetic levels, including the spiritual, psychological, astral, ethereal and others, not everything dies when our physical body does. This is where ritual and memorializing help us to deal with the pain of physical loss, by honoring and connecting with this deep and older part of our psyche. It allows us to reconnect with our deepest feelings, and its metaphors create a language that transcends words.

The need for ritual and ceremony is as innate in people as the need for water and oxygen. It marks the many important stages of life – like birth, marriage and death – and it also serves as an important container that helps us connect with our deepest feelings. The metaphor of ritual accesses and honors the psyche and has profound healing properties. We use ritual to celebrate, to mourn, and to mark significant events in our lives. Even in the most secular of times, people still seek ceremonies and rites, as individuals, families, or organizations. When events and passages are important to us, we seek to imbue meaning and specialness through ritualization, just as our earliest ancestors did when they painted rock art in dark cages before a hunt.

The cry for ritual is so keen that even Stanford University has created a lab to design rituals for a secular age, as more people attempt to make meaning and find connection to their objects and devices.

Here at Rituals for the Living, I want to show you how to create your own rituals to help you and others deal with grief and pain. Death is the eternal mystery of life, and when it comes for those we love, we struggle for meaning and ways to manage this piercing loss. Honoring your loss and marking it with ritual and with your own shrine at home can help tend to your pain. Making a living memorial to your lost loved one is a beautiful way to express your love and keep their memory alive and flourishing. We want you to know that we are here for you, to help you in dealing with grief.

Dr. Patricia Danaher is a writer, scholar and mythologist who has been practicing ritual for decades. A long-time writer and traveler originally from Ireland, Danaher has lived in Japan, Thailand, and Argentina, and now calls Southern California her home. In her travels she has studied various Christian, Buddhist and secular rituals in Asia, Europe and South America,  blending elements from different traditions from each to formulate spiritual rituals that will resonate with people of all faiths and beliefs.

Danaher holds a Doctorate Degree as well as a Masters’ Degree in Mythology and Jungian Studies from Pacifica Graduate Institute, where she studied ritual and was awarded the Joseph Campbell Scholarship. She is completing a doctorate in Ecopsychology, where her focus is on ritual and mourning to grieve babies who died before birth. Patricia has herself suffered miscarriages and has had unsuccessful IVF treatment. She also lost a stepson following the breakup of her first marriage. Through her experience and studies she came to understand the importance of ritual, and recognized the need for a special kind of counseling. Developing the practice and tools for Rituals for the Living, she now helps grieving families around the world cope with loss. Her book Unborn will be published next year.

Testimonials